Saturday, August 9, 2014

Kiev Ukraine Day One

After almost a year of blog content provided exclusively by Mary, James has finally gotten around to contributing as an author. After writing that sentence, Mary told me "to get on with it." So, I will skip the rest of my planned introductory comments and get back to the story.

On Thursday, 7 August, we literally used planes, trains, and automobiles to travel from Virginia to Ukraine in about 23 hours. The travel went well and our luggage made it. Unfortunately, the luggage did not make it in the same condition that it started in. Both of the suitcases that were checked baggage were badly bent on the side, as if someone tried to pry them open. Suspicious that both suitcases were damaged in an identical manner. Thankfully, all of our belongings made it through but we will have to find some new suitcases for future travel.

 
Mary's suitcase damage.

 
James' suitcase damage.

After our arrival, we were met by our facilitator Lesya and our driver Vitally. They are great! They helped us get settled into our apartment for the next few days. The apartment is fantastic! We are located in downtown Kiev within walking distance of food, shopping, and the sites of the city. Here are a couple of pictures of our living room and kitchen:

 
The apartment kitchen.

 
The living room and door to bedroom.

After getting settled into the apartment, we stopped by a local cafeteria for some plov (Ukrainian rice dish) and shashlik (kebab) for dinner. We then stopped by a market for some groceries before coming back to the apartment for some much needed rest. For the majority of the next fourteen hours, we slept! Neither of us has slept for that long in years! It felt great to recharge.

Since airline tickets were cheaper for us to arrive a day early, we had an extra day today to see some of Kiev. We hired Eugene, a driver recommended by Lesya, to take us to the Kiev Ukraine LDS Temple and some of the memorials. We enjoyed an Endowment session at the temple in the Russian language (Mary had an English translation headset) and the peace that can only be found in the House of the Lord. After changing, we drove to the Presidential Administration building where the guards kindly let us onto the grounds for some pictures. We then visited the Ukrainian Famine Memorial and the World War II Memorial. The Famine Memorial was very powerful...a sad, sad experience in the early twentieth century history of this nation. The memorials were on a hill overlooking the Dnieper River and the city of Kiev. It was an awesome view of the city.

 
The Kiev Ukraine LDS Temple.

 
The Ukraine Presidential Administration Building.

 
The Ukraine WWII Memorial.
 
 
Overlooking the Dnieper River and Kiev.

Following our tour of the city, we stopped by an Italian restaurant for a dinner of bread, lamb, lasagna, and mashed potatoes. Although that combination sounds odd, it would not be too big of a surprise to those who know our eating habits. We finished the evening with a little bit of window shopping. Since we both love books, our eyes lit up when we saw a bookseller among the shops at an underground mall (the mall is literally beneath the streets of the city). We found several titles of interest including a copy of Robert Jordan's "Winter's Heart" in Russian. While perusing other books (all of the titles were in Russian) Mary pointed to one of the books with the title "Новый Завет" and said, "This must be 'The Hobbit'!" After James saw the title in Russian, he chuckled and kindly informed Mary that it was a copy of the New Testament. Both great books, but I have to give the nod to the New Testament as the more important of the two. In all fairness, Mary has shown exceptional courage on this trip. Where I know the language and have lived in this area of the world before, Mary is seizing on this adventure and embracing a new culture and language with enthusiasm. It will be fun to see what other situations come our way during this experience.

With the first day of our adventure behind us, we are grateful for the many friends and family that support us. We have been greatly blessed and look forward to this adoption opportunity. Monday can't come fast enough!

We Made it to Ukraine!

On July 18th we received a call from our adoption consultant. She notified us that we had received our appointment date with the SDA (Government office for Children's Services in Ukraine) and an invitation to travel! I was not expecting that call that day because our adoption consultant usually doesn't work on Thursdays or Fridays so if I didn't get a call on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday I stopped expecting to hear from her until the following week. I expected to get the call on our home phone so anytime it rang I got really excited. Most of the time it would be telemarketers because we don't use our home number very much. Such a let down each time. When my cell phone rang on a Friday I didn't expect it to be her so she took me off guard. I was shocked, but super excited about the news! She had called us from her home on her day off which I thought was nice so we didn't have to wait until she went back into work on Monday.

Since that call we have been busy, busy, busy trying to get everything arranged for travel. We were able to secure plane tickets for us and for our family members who are watching our children. James was able to meet with our lawyer to get Power of Attorneys for our caretakers. I was able to complete and order a book that will explain our family and a little bit about our community to our future children. James and I typed up tons of lists to help those taking care of our children and home and pets. We were able to shop for school supplies and clothes for all three boys and register our youngest for kindergarten. Sign up our kids for sports and music and try to complete paperwork for the new school year at each of the schools. We finally found time to pack too! It has been a very busy time, but it has also been amazing to see how many people who are willing to help out while we are gone. So many people have helped us in this process and we want to say thank you to all of you who helped us get here! About a week before we left a new family moved into our area that attends our church. They have adopted two children from Russia and two children from Ukraine. It was awesome to talk to them about what to expect and they gave us great advice! What amazing timing for them to move in!

I'll let my husband post next to fill you in on our travels. Please keep us in your prayers. The next few days we will especially need them!

Friday, July 11, 2014

A Few Bumps in the Road

It has been awhile since I posted last because I wanted to work through a few significant issues on our adoption journey, and also because I went on a much needed vacation and I am just know able to find the time to post again.


Shortly after our Adoption Consultant received our Dossier for review, she called me while I was driving the kids home from school. The road I was on is notorious for bad cell reception and the call was dropped before she could let me know why she was calling. A few minutes later, I was able to drive up a hill, above the tree line, and call her back. Unfortunately, she had bad news. She said our Immigration approval would not work in Ukraine and that she could not submit our Dossier. What?! We were approved for up to 3 healthy children with an age range of 0 to 12 years old. She said we needed to be approved for special needs children because all orphans in Ukraine are classified as special needs. Basically our adoption would go through just fine in Ukraine, but we would not be able to get VISAs to bring the children home. Big Problem! She said we would need to get a new Home Study Addendum and re-file Immigration. I was able to end the call and drive home and make it to my room successfully and shut the door and then I just lost it. I threw a total temper tantrum. I mean the throwing things including myself down on my bed sobbing kind. (This is not something I normally do, by the way...I can normally hold it together. Yes, I cry easy, but this was different. This adoption roller coaster experience had my emotions going totally crazy.) I thought we were in the clear and just had to wait for Ukraine to invite us over. All of the careful time sensitive work we had done to put together the Dossier, I thought, was ruined! After an embarrassing 20 minutes of sobbing I found myself on my knees pleading with my Heavenly Father to help me get through this. I have no doubt that my family is meant to go through this process, but I needed stronger faith to overcome all of the obstacles that kept finding their way into our path. I committed to dig in and try to leave all of the overwhelming emotion out of it. I would do what I personally could do and trust that God would take over the rest and be okay with whatever future problems happened. I needed to leave all the emotion out of it for now so that I could be there for my family. As I have mentioned in other posts, I really have a problem with trusting others to do their jobs. My faith has really been tested and strengthened through this adoption process. This heartfelt prayer and the peaceful answer of everything will work out the way it is supposed to really strengthened me for the next couple of weeks.


The next day I got on the phone and tried to contact our Home Study social worker. I found out that she would be out of the office for the week. I emailed her and she responded that she was indeed out of the office for the week and that she would return on Monday, but would be involved in meetings all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I was going out of town on Thursday for several weeks so I asked her what the possibility of her completing the Home Study Addendum by Wednesday was so I could drive in and pick it up on Wednesday afternoon and Apostille it on Thursday on my way out of town? (All Apostilles have to be done in the State Capital). She agreed to try. I got a call on Tuesday night saying that she was done with the Addendums. Thankfully my Adoption Consultant wrote word for word what need to be added into the Home Study Addendum and sent it to my Home Study social worker. (I need three copies, one for Immigration and two for our Dossier). She said their notary was on vacation, ah summertime, but she could find someone to notarize them for me so I could pick them up on Wednesday. I happily drove nearly 2 hours in traffic to her office on Wednesday afternoon thinking everything will work out perfectly. My social worker was in a meeting, but had left the documents with a lady at the front desk. Knowing from experience in the past, I looked over the documents before I left and noticed that only one of the Addendums had been notarized. I needed all three notarized! I mentioned the problem, and the nice front desk lady interrupted my social worker's meeting to let her know of the problem. Their solution was for me to come back around 8pm that night to pick them up because their notary could not show up until then. I didn't know what to do. I needed them now. I didn't have time to come back again by 8pm. My oldest son had a playoff game starting at 7pm and my husband was out of town. I decided to call my friend who lived in the area to see if she could pick them up for me at 8pm and then I would drive out to her house to pick them up after the baseball game. Being the awesome friend she is, she agreed. So I fought rush hour traffic home, losing a total of about 4 hours in traffic for nothing, and went about my evening getting ready for my trip and preparing for my son's game, etc. I received a text from my angel friend, Alicia, who had agreed to pick up the notarized documents, which just made me cry! A good cry.  The I can't believe that I have such an awesome friend cry. Here is the text she wrote:


      "Me being firm with you...I will pick up the paperwork at eight and I'm going to say this and I don't want you to argue because this is. I will drive it all the way to you. You can't say no. Sorry for being bossy ;)"


I just LOVE Alicia! Everyone should have a friend just like her! With no other option other than to accept, I agreed to her terms. My son's game was cancelled due to a nasty storm approaching so I was able to pack before 8pm. I tried to let Alicia know that I was now available to come get the paperwork or at least meet her part way, but she insisted on bringing the paperwork to my door. She made good time too, because I was on my way home from dropping off my dogs to the pet sitter when she arrived at my house. I thought I would be home before she could get there. She left the documents safely on my front porch, knowing I would be home soon, with a HUGE chocolate bar for me and called me before heading home. a two hour round trip at that time of night! She even texted the next day to make sure that I was able to get the documents off okay and that I was on my way out of town. Fabulous friend!


I prepared the letter and form for Immigration before I left and put it on my hubby's desk for him to sign and mail when he returned from his business trip. I made it to the capital the next morning and Apostilled the documents for Ukraine and shipped them to my Adoption Consultant for review before she sent our completed Dossier to Ukraine (She actually shipped them to a contact in Romania who personally flew them into Ukraine to have them translated and hand delivered to the SDA (office of child services in Kiev) which is where they are now.) My husband signed the forms for Immigration and mailed them when he returned home and we received our approval for up to 3 "special needs" children age range between 0 and 12 years old by the time I got back from my trip last week. Problem solved (hopefully...right? I know better now than to assume anything.) Now we are back to what I posted on my last post...we wait!


I just wanted to share a couple of songs that have really helped me understand the importance of putting my trust and faith in the right place. One is "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United and the other is "Faithful" by Hawk Nelson. They remind me where to put my faith and what God is capable of. I shared both songs on this blog with lyrics on individual posts. If you have time, please listen to them. Great songs! Every time I hear them on the radio the same peace I received from my prayer accompanies it. When I put my faith in the adoption process, everything fell apart. Countless problems have arisen that could have made me doubt that what we are doing is the right decision for our family. Seriously, when we started this process Ukraine was not in conflict and was a relatively safe place to be. The steps to complete should have stuck to the outline we were given, but how many times have we had to re-do our Home Study or add an Addendum? I believe we are on 4 or 5. Immigration was done twice. 4 medical appointments for me. 3 different Home Ownership letters, and countless other blips in the process including changes in fees and policy. Nothing has truly been easy. When I put my trust and faith in God all is put into the correct perspective. I needed to grow. I needed to get closer to him. I needed time to educate myself about what problems we might face after our kids reach our home. I needed time with my birth children preparing them and enjoying our family as it is now because it is all going to drastically change. I have a feeling that all of these delays and problems are there to allow God's timing to work to find the children that are meant to be a part of this family and prepare us to parent them successfully. I hope I look back and say "Oh, that's why it took so long..." Thanks to those who read to the end. I know this is a long post, but I wanted to remember everything that happened the last couple of months and for my future kiddos to know what we went through to get them here and why it took so long!







Hawk Nelson - Faithful (Official Lyric video)


Hillsong UNITED Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyric Video


Friday, May 9, 2014

We shipped our Dossier! What is a Dossier, you ask?

A Dossier is the collection of documents that is sent to the foreign country that the adoption will take place in. These documents are time sensitive and can take a lot of steps to complete. We started working towards our Dossier in September with the Home Study Process. Each new document that we completed went in a very specific place in our house that would be safe and out of the way. My husband and I protected these documents and never let them out of our sight when we had them out of the house. When others had to work on them we wouldn't let them touch them until we told them EXACTLY how to fill them out. One mistake and the document is invalid. Each document was anxiously awaited for when we had to send them through the mail. I never knew how emotionally attached I could be to these documents. The last week or so I have had trouble sleeping worrying about completing these documents. When I finished the last step of completing our Dossier yesterday I held it together until I got to the car and then I just cried because I was so happy to finally have this part done. This has been an emotional process for sure! Last night was the first great night of sleep that I have had in a long time.

Here is a list of the documents that we had to prepare, Notarize, and Apostille:

Home Study (2 Copies Notarized and Apostilled)
Home Study Agency License (2 copies Notarized as "true and exact copies" and Apostilled)
Social Worker's License (2 copies Notarized as "true and exact copies" and Apostilled)
Certified Marriage Certificate (2 Certified in County of Marriage License, Apostilled in State of Marriage)
Copy of 2013 1040 Tax Form (Notarized as "true and exact copy" and Apostilled)
3 Color Passport Copies per Parent (6 Notarized as "true and exact copy" and Apostilled)
Petition for Adoption (Notarized and Apostilled)
Home Ownership Letter With Real Estate License attached (Notarized and Apostilled (this had to be done
     three separate times due to mistakes...not the Realtor's fault. The Notary's commision expired before we
     could apostille due to delays, etc.))
State Police Clearance (Notarized and Apostilled)
Interpol Background Check (2 Notarized and Apostilled)
Petition to Use Personal Information (Notarized and Apostilled)
Employment Letter (under one month old Notarized and Apostilled)
Power of Attorney (4 non specific Notarized and Apostilled)
Power of Attorney (2 specific Notarized and Apostilled)
Consent (Notarized and Apostilled)
Consent for Adoption (2 Notarized and Apostilled)
Letter of Obligation (2 Notarized and Apostilled)
Medical Exam Report one per parent (2 Notarized and Apostilled)
Copy of I-171H -Notice of Favorable Determination (Immigration Approval) (Notarized as "true and exact
      copy" and Apostilled)


It came out to be 37 separate documents that I shipped today along with other fees and an addendum to our contract. (See time line page).

I've been asked what Apostille means a few times.An Apostille is a form of Authentication/ Certification to be used in countries who are signed as part of the Hague Convention. The process can be different depending on what country the documents will be used in. It is basically a double to check to make sure the the Notary is current on their commission and that they notarized the document correctly. An Apostille does the same thing for certified documents like a Marriage License. An Apostille can only be obtained from the state the document originated in.

Our Dossier is on its way to our Adoption Agency where it will be reviewed for accuracy and then sent on to Ukraine for translation. Once it is translated it will be submitted to the Government office (SDA) that will invite us over to review files of children waiting to be adopted. Now comes the hard part: we wait.


Saturday, May 3, 2014

We received approval from Immigration!

I am excited to say that we received our I-171H approval from Immigration today! It has been a stressful few weeks for us since I posted last. I thought we were on the fast track for getting this document, but shortly after I posted we received a letter from Immigration stating that we needed to provide "Proof of Evidence" for two areas that our Home Study did not cover. I swear our Home Study has been a challenge! It seems that our Home Study Social Worker left out two sections required by Immigration and our Case Worker at our Adoption Agency did not catch this. If you remember this is our third Case Worker with this Adoption Agency and the change happened right as our Home Study was completed. Seems that our Home Study fell through the cracks. Both our Home Study Social Worker and our Case Worker at our Adoption Agency were very apologetic and provided the needed revisions for our Home Study rather quickly, but it still took me writing exactly what I wanted it to say because the revisions were not as clear as I wanted them. While this was happening we had a scare with a work assignment for my husband that would have crushed our adoption plans for this year. After a little over a week of worrying we were able to resolve that issue. We were able to get our fingerprints taken at Immigration and send of our new revised Home Study back to Immigration about a week ago. I've been stalking the poor mail carrier this past week and our approval finally arrived today! When we opened it I just started crying! I was so glad that it had finally came and that all of our problems have been resolved! Unfortunately, our Home Study needs an addendum because it was officially approved over 3 months ago and Ukraine likes all of the documents under 8 weeks old. After that, all we need is James's Employment letter and then notarize and appostille everything. Our Dossier should go out in the next week if all goes well!