We have been invited by Immigration to have our biometrics taken!

We heard back from Immigration yesterday. We received our appointment date for fingerprints! Our I-600A, Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition was received by the Department of Homeland Security on March 18, 2014 and our appointment date notification for fingerprints was dated on March 21, 2014. It only took 4 days for them to do this! We were told it could take up to 8 weeks! I am thrilled! Our appointment date is mid-April (I'll post actual dates after the appointment happens). This means we can submit our dossier to Ukraine as early as late April. Travel to Ukraine can happen as quick as 2 weeks from when we submit our dossier. I think it has finally hit me that we will meet our girls soon! Huge array of emotions right now! I feel we are as prepared as we can be at this point. The kids and I have learned 49 words and phrases in Russian, even our 4 year old. Thankfully, my husband speaks, reads, and writes fluent Russian and will be traveling with me, but we thought it might be helpful for the family to learn a bit before the girls get here. I'm working on several games that include pictures of people, our home, and community that will hopefully help the girls in their transition to our home and family. I can't do much more until I meet the girls in person. To make that happen we only have three documents left to prepare: both final Medical Exams, already scheduled, and an Employment Letter (they are very time sensitive so we had to wait. I got the go ahead from our agency to do these mid-April), and then we can notarize everything and get them apostilled. Pre-Adoption process here in the United States is almost done, then a whole new Ukraine Pre-Adoption process will begin. So excited!

Home Study Document Finalized, Immigration Documents Sent!

I am happy to announce that our Home Study process and document are finally finished! It didn't go as smoothly as we expected, but it is now corrected and complete! The date on our Home Study Document says February 4, 2014, because that was the day we were approved, but we didn't finalize that document until just this last weekend. Shortly after February 4th, the Home Study document was sent directly to our case worker with our adoption agency. We received a certificate in the mail giving us the basic information of what our Home Study approved us for (# of children, age range, medical status, etc.), but not the actual document, like I was expecting. I was so excited to have this part of the process done until I saw that the age range we were approved for was 0-12 months! Months! Please let that be a typo! We were hoping for 0-12 years! Of course we received the package on a Friday night so there was no chance of calling the Home Study to see if this was a mistake until Monday morning. We spent that weekend worrying that we might have wasted the last several months working on a Home Study that would be worthless in Ukraine. (Only children 5 years and older can normally be adopted out of the county). I called the office on Monday morning and was relieved to find out that it was in fact a typo. They promised to fix it and resend it. Whew! Meanwhile, our case worker with our adoption agency was switched again (our third one). We called the agency and asked for an explanation and was told that the first one, decided to only do Home Studies, and that the second one was over Bulgaria adoptions and agreed to take on Ukraine until another case worker was found, the third one used to handle adoptions from Russia until that was closed and now will be handling Ukraine. That's three different caseworkers in 6 months! I have to say I was bothered by this at first because I really was starting to connect with the second caseworker, but in my last post I mentioned that I felt strongly to pray for our caseworkers that would be helping us. I really feel that this new caseworker is an answer to that prayer. She is amazing with details and wording. She might not be as personable as the last one, but do I need another friend or do I need someone to get things done? She received our Home Study, reviewed it, sent it to some of her contacts in Ukraine to review it (not a normal thing), and then called us with some of her concerns. We had not seen the actual document so we were unaware of the many, many mistakes in it. Our new caseworker advised us to contact our Home Study agency to begin the editing process. When I called the Home Study agency I was surprised to talk to our social worker. I was told that she was going to be on leave for her wedding for several weeks, so I thought I would be dealing with her substitute while she was gone. I congratulated her on her wedding and she said that unfortunately it didn't happen yet because her sister passed away suddenly. She is postponing the wedding until later this Spring. She had taken some time off, but felt she needed to get back to work. I felt so bad for her! I know what it is like to lose a sibling so suddenly. She agreed to talk with our caseworker to address some of her concerns. They talked back and forth a bit, but our caseworker at the adoption agency wanted us to look at it, which isn't a normal thing to do until it is finalized, because it just didn't sound right. So our social worker finalized it and sent it directly to us instead of our adoption agency. Again, I was excited to receive the package and started to read the 16 page document. I started counting mistakes and stopped counting after 88 and I wasn't even finished with the document. I knew why our caseworker wanted it sent to us now. There were wrong dates of birth, ages (they listed me as 40, I'm 34. James was listed as 36, and he is 37), gender issues (she instead of he, etc.), and just plain things that weren't correct. It read like a Home Study of a couple trying to adopt internationally mingled with an older single lady trying to adopt domestically. Not good. Of course it was a Friday evening again when the package came so I couldn't call the Home Study Agency until Monday. So, I decided to not waste anymore time and go to work. I marked up the Home Study with a blue pen with all of the corrections that needed to be made, scanned it into my computer and then re-typed the whole document with the corrections and sent both as attachments in an email to my social worker. I knew she was going through a hard time right now so I tried to make this as easy as possible for her. I told her I wasn't comfortable sending in the Home Study as she finalized it and that I sent her the corrections that needed to be made and also that I re-typed it with all of the corrections already done. I asked her if she could either fix the corrections herself using the marked up Home Study or just review what I did and print it out on her letter head and finalize it again. I didn't hear back from her again for a few days because of the infamous snow days in Northern Virginia this winter, but she agreed to just print out the corrections I made on her letter head and have it finalized. She is an amazing person and I would work with her again and recommend her to anyone. I know it was just terrible timing for her. I can't imagine what it must have been like trying to complete our Home Study when she just found out that her sister died. I know it would have gone smoother if that wouldn't have happened. Who knows, maybe the Home Study process took so long (6 months) because our kiddos wouldn't have been available if it was processed earlier. We shall see. So with a completed Home Study, we sent in our immigration documents. Immigration can take up to 8 weeks. We will wait to hear back from them and then get our fingerprints done for Interpol and then send in our dossier to Ukraine. Hopefully we will travel to Ukraine to meet our kids by May or June.

Matthew West- Do Something (Lyrics)

On a more personal note...This is how God answered my prayers this week.

With our part of the Home Study done, I contacted our Adoption Consultants to find out what our next steps would be. I had a hard time getting a hold of our case worker and finally, after a few days, found out that we had been assigned a new case worker because our old one transferred to a different department. That's fine, but we weren't notified and lost a few days of work so I was a little disappointed. Thankfully our new case worker is awesome and spent a lot of time going over what needed to be accomplished with me. Unfortunately, I found out that we would have to repeat a lot of things that we did in our Home Study like doctor visits, employment letters, fingerprints etc. that would have been nice to know about earlier so we could have accomplished both requirements for the Home Study and the dossier at the same time. I mentioned this to her, but she said that the dossier documents are time sensitive and needed to be done after the Home Study so they can be as current as possible before we send them to Ukraine. I guess I just thought we were closer to being done than we actually are. We are still projected to travel this spring, but we have a lot to do in a small amount of time. I felt quite discouraged. I took a few more days off from adoption stuff to catch up on things my other kiddos needed help with (pinewood derby car, science fair, and other things). When those were over I really had a hard time finding my motivation. It was like I had climbed a mountain and got to the top only to see another mountain. My husband had left on a business trip the week before and I really just had my hands full. I knew my motivation wasn't completely gone, but it was like finding a lost sock in a dryer full of clean clothes. It was somewhere in there, but not easy to see. I dropped my kids off at school and then just sat at home and watched TV until I had to leave again to pick up my preschooler. I did absolutely nothing productive all morning. I just felt weighed down and needed some extra help to get moving again. I prayed in the car for God to help me so I could get moving again with the adoption. When I pulled up to the school a song came on the radio (Matthew West's Do Something). I had never heard it before, but it was a direct answer to my prayer. (I posted a video of this song on a separate post on this blog if you'd like to hear it). I just started bawling! God spoke directly to me with that song. Here was my motivation! I finally found the lost sock! I got my second wind to climb that next mountain! I was also inspired to write down several very specific things to pray for:


1)Someone to watch my kids while my husband and I are in Ukraine. (My sister had already volunteered for part of my trip, but I needed at least one other person to help.)
2)Our social/case workers who are helping us prepare our documents.
3)Our caretakers of our future children in Ukraine
4)All of the people (Dr's, Boss, realtors, etc.) that have to prepare documents for us.
5)Help with completing paperwork.


After I put down my pen, I thanked God for answering my prayer and prayed for the things on the list above. Later that day, I saw two quotes that spoke to me and encouraged me to keep going. Another answer to my prayer! The very next day I was talking to a friend at church and she volunteered to watch our kids while we are in Ukraine. I was shocked by her generosity and thanked her, but told her I would keep her in mind, but I had a couple of family members I wanted to ask first to see if they could come watch the kids at our house. Both of these family members, are very busy people and live across the country, so I had put off asking them because I couldn't possibly see how that would work for them. Their names kept coming to mind so I knew I had to ask. I really hate asking for help, but I finally got the courage to do so. Both of them said yes! I was stunned! Another answer to my prayers! While out shopping I received a phone call from another friend who is adopting. She shared with me a short-cut that she had learned for paperwork that would work for us because we are a military family. Another prayer answered! Each time I have been driving in my car Matthew West's song keeps coming on reminding me about my motivation! I have just been amazed and humbled by how quickly and deliberately my prayers have been answered over the past couple of days! I know moving forward on this adoption is what God wants us to do. There have been countless other times that I have been told to keep working. I have had to push through and out of my comfort zone many times, but I know this will be worth it in the end. Many of you have offered to pray for us. Please continue to do so. Miracles are happening and I'm glad to be a part of it!

What we had to do for our Home Study

A lot of people have asked us about what a Home Study is. I thought I'd share what we had to do for our specific Home Study here on the blog to clear that up. Each Home Study Agency has their own policies and each State has different requirements, but a lot of it is universal, so if you are planning to adopt, your Home Study might be a little different than ours.


The Home Study is a process AND a written document. When we were shopping around for a Home Study Agency we found that they all averaged between 3 to 6 months to complete in Virginia. Here is what we had to do for ours:


James and I met with our social worker together for our first appointment where we signed a lot of paper work. She also gave us a list of homework to do. Part of that homework was for each of us to write an autobiography based on an outline she gave us. This had to be done before our next appointment with her. Each of us attended an individual appointment to discuss our autobiographies, reason why we want to adopt, and other questions.


Some of the other homework for the Home Study was:


1. Physicals for each member of the family including blood tests and TB tests and a physical form.
2. Send in a recent close up picture
3. Copies of Birth Certificates for all members of the family. (Originals had to be shown to social worker).
4. Copy of Marriage License (Original had to be shown to social worker).
5. Life Insurance (Each applicant has to have at least $100,000 in coverage).
6. Verification of income for previous two years (first page of 1040).
7. Completed financial form. (James was a champ and submitted our past budgets and created a future budget of all monthly expenses with documentation (copies of bills, statements, etc.) all finances had to be verified with documentation for example our bank accounts, our Mortgage, Cars, Rental Home Mortgage, Insurance, etc. Including statements of how much each of our assets are currently worth. Thankfully we do not carry any debt or the list would go on and on...)
8. Child Desired Form. (This one was hard because we had to check whether or not we would except a child whose mother smoked/drank during pregnancy. Family History of psychiatric disorders, and other issues. We did a lot of research on this, but filling out the form was hard.)
9. Official driving record transcripts of at least 10 years. (We both had to do the State of Virginia and I have a Texas driver license and James has a South Dakota driver license so we had to contact those states too.)
10. Proof of Vehicle liability insurance for all adults in the home.
11. A description of each applicant's daily schedule. Including planned leave from work after placement and child care plans following return to work. (I love being a stay-at-home mom!)
12. Back ground checks:
       *National Background Check (we went to the local police station and they fingerprinted us on our FBI form and then we mailed it in with a big check for processing.
       *Child Protective Services Central Registry Release of Information for all states we've lived in for the past 5 years. (VA, AL, TX, and SD. We had to contact each state and fill out forms for each one. It would be nice to have a National registry for this one!)
13. References from 3 personal friends (Thanks! you know who you are!), your employers, and our bishop.
14. Conspicuous Families online education certificate. (This is incase we adopt a child that is not of our race or that obviously looks adopted).
15. We had to read Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen. (411 pages of fun!)
16. Designate a guardian for our children. Proof of this was a copy of our wills. (Thanks sis!)
17. Shaken Baby Syndrome education (we are looking for older children, but you never know I guess...)
18. Corporal Punishment Statement (we had to sign that we would never use Corporal Punishment (spanking, etc.) on our children).
19. Safety Checklist and Written Emergency Preparedness Plan. (I had to write up a document including a floor plan of our house with what we would do in specific emergencies and where we would go incase of evacuation of community, state, etc. I also had to put together a 72 hour kit for each person in the house and an extensive first aid kit (list provided by social worker). Stuff I should have already done anyways.)
20. Copies of pet license and most recent pet vaccinations.
21. Attend Agency training (all day training at the Home Study Agency).
22. Proof of 10 hours of Hague International Adoption Education Training.


This list kept us busy for awhile! After we completed all of this our social worker visited our home and talked to our three boys about how they feel about us adopting. She also walked through our home with a three page checklist to make sure our home was suitable for our future children. This concludes the "process" of the Home Study for us. Now our social worker will write our Home Study Document. This document will be a part of the dossier we will submit to Ukraine. We hope to have the Home Study Document completed by the end of January.

Adding Ukrainian Food to our Menu

At the beginning of the month we decided to add a traditional Ukrainian meal once a week to our menu. I thought our girls might appreciate some familiar food once in awhile. I also thought that I should start this before they get here because:

1) I have never made these foods before and I could use the practice before I serve it to true Ukrainians. There is nothing like getting someone excited about something they are familiar with and then having the recipe bomb!
2)My kids (and my husband and I) are terribly picky eaters and I would like to get all of the yucks, and dirty looks out before the girls get here if my boys don't like it. I wouldn't want their feelings to get hurt.
3)It will give me a good idea of the types of food I will be eating in Ukraine so I know what to order at restaurants, etc.

So far we have tried Chicken Kiev, Vareniki, Pelmeni, and Plov.

Chiken Kiev: Butter-herb filled chicken breast, I served it with rice.
It went over really well with James and I. The boys didn't think it was too bad, but definitely not a new favorite food for them.

Vareniki: Stuffed, handmade, boiled then fried, crescent shaped noodles about the size of the palm of my hand. I made two varieties: Mashed potato and Sausage and onion. James and I loved them. The boys only tolerated the Sausage and onion kind.

Pelmeni: similar to Vareniki, but much smaller (about walnut sized) and you only boil them. After you boil them you toss them in melted butter with salt and pepper. After Vareniki, I learned to only serve the boys the sausage kind. They liked these very much! James and I loved them!

Plov: (rhymes with clove) is a rice dish. You can use lamb or chicken, but I chose to use lamb. The recipe calls for lamb, grated carrots, onion, ketchup (a small amount), butter, and various spices. It smells wonderful while it is cooking! James liked it. I thought it was good, but I think I would prefer it with chicken instead of lamb. The boys hated it! We got plenty of gagging and dirty looks with this one. I will definitely try it with chicken next time and see if they like it better. I think the idea of eating lamb psyched them out...

It has been a lot of fun trying new things. I know that might come as a bit of a shock for those who know me well, but it truly has been fun trying these new recipes. I'm also thankful, that I was able to make all of these successfully. They even looked like the pictures in the recipes. There are several other recipes that we will be attempting in the months to come: Borsht (I'm a little scared of this one! Beets...), Piroshki (like a stuffed scone), and Deruny (Potato Pancakes).

Personal Interview for Home study

In my last post I wrote about the autobiography I had to write before my next appointment with the social worker for my Home study. I was able to complete that and turn it in to my social worker a few days before my personal interview. I had a really hard time answering some of the questions for the autobiography. I have a complex childhood and I was exposed to violence, alcohol, drugs, forms of abandonment, poverty, divorce, and mental illnesses in my home growing up. It was not all bad of course, but a lot of painful memories were surfaced. It was a very challenging way to grow up, but I feel it has made me a strong and a compassionate person. I was very nervous to talk to a stranger about these issues. I try very hard not to dwell on what I have been through, but more on how overcoming some of those difficult situations has shaped my view on the world. I was amazed at how daunting preparing for this appointment was for me. I was afraid that my childhood and how I was raised would reflect negatively on my prospects for being able to adopt. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to communicate what I had learned from these experiences successfully. I arrived at my appointment on time, alone of course, and waited for my social worker to call me back. She stopped by to check on me about 5 minutes after my appointment time and said she needed a few more minutes to get ready. 15 minutes later she called me back. I have to say, waiting alone for 20 minutes did not help my nerves at all! I won't go into details, but 2 hours later I walked out of the office feeling a lot better. Yes, she went over a lot of challenging questions with me, but she also explained to me why she was asking each question and what my response told her about me. She was honest and told me that sometimes some of the issues that my future adopted children will go through will trigger hard memories for me. I might have to take a step back and gather my thoughts before I can help them through difficult memories, but I have a unique advantage. I have been through similar experiences and I made it out okay. I can be an example to my kids on how to not let difficult circumstances hold them back. I might not have gone through the same exact things as my future kids have, but I have experienced similar feelings that they will go through. I was so happy when my social worker told me that my complex background and how I dealt, and do deal with it now will help my home study process. My husband has his personal interview next week and then our last appointment will be in our home with our three boys. We are still working on a lot of paperwork, but I can safely say we are halfway through with the Home study!