James is at the keyboard for today's post.
So, for the first time during our Ukraine adventure, Mary ventured out on her own to get lunch. The target was McDonald's which is not too far from our apartment in Kharkov. After ensuring that our cell phones were charged and ready, Mary set out on her mission. Success! Mary was able to get our lunch order through despite the language barrier and the difficulty that the cashier had with the word "McChicken" even though it sounds the same way in Russian as in English. I guess it must be the accent...
This afternoon, we were able to have another visit with the children. For now, we will refer to them as M (a twelve-year old boy), K (an eleven-year old girl), and R (a ten-year old girl). Since they are in school the Orphanage Director requested that we arrive later in the afternoon so M, K, and R could have a few minutes after school to get ready. When we first arrived, a District Social Worker wanted to meet with us and ask a few questions. We were happy to comply and I spent the next twenty minutes telling him about our family and answering his questions. The interview went rather well and we were then able to meet with the children.
Today, we went outside to visit in the yard. At the Director's request, K started to show us around the yard and explain the different items the children had built. R followed at a distance. They had a frog, pig, bear, elephant, turtle, etc. all made from different items such as tires, wood, and garden hoses. It was all very creative and the yard is well kept. We found a small table with five seats and decided to try and break the ice with a game of UNO. K and M sat down to play but R was reluctant until we started dealing. K moved to sit next to Mary which left an open seat for R between M and K. Evidently, that worked for her so she sat down to play. Of course, she promptly won the first game. They were excited to play again and M won the second game. The children started to open up a little as the game progressed and we were able to learn more about them. It was a good visit and the children said that they would like us to visit again tomorrow. We are looking forward to that. These are great kids!
After our visit with the children, we met with our facilitator Tatyana. We had a great discussion and have some good approaches for our way forward. Tatyana has been a great help so far and we are very grateful for her ability to listen to our concerns, understand them, and help us find solutions. So far, things are looking positive.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Kharkov Ukraine Day One: We met with the kids.
Mary is posting today.
James and I left our apartment this morning around 5:30am to catch an express train to Kharkov. The train car we rode in was made up of maybe 10 rows of two to three seats on each side of the train with an aisle in between. James and I sat in a row with only two seats. The train ride was about 4 1/2 hours long. Our new facilitator, Tatyana, and her husband met us at the train station in Kharkov and took us to our apartment. They left us for about 30 minutes to settle in and then picked us up again and we headed out to the town where the orphanage is. The drive is about 50 kilometers away or just over 30 miles. During the drive to the orphanage our driver pointed out the window and said, "There is Russia"! We were driving about 2 miles from the border of Russia a lot of the way. We stopped at the District Social Worker's office and Tatyana gave them our Referral and a representative got in the car with us and we drove the rest of the way to the orphanage. The roads were a little rough and the orphanage was located pretty far out near a bunch of farms. The grounds of the orphanage were very beautiful. We got out and headed into the orphanage. When we entered we were asked to put shoe covers on to protect the pristine floors. Everything was very clean! We were lead upstairs where we met with the Director of the orphanage along with the Medical advisor and a couple of other people who worked at the orphanage. They all were very kind to us and let us ask all of the questions we could think of about the kids. They were very good at answering our questions completely and if they didn't know something they told us instead of guessing. It was a very positive experience. One of the many questions we asked was if the kids knew we were coming. We were told that they did not know that we were coming. After we were done asking questions the Orphanage staff asked us a lot of questions too. We were then shown a little bit of the orphanage. We were shown a lot of bedrooms. Each one had anywhere from five to seven beds in them. Each child had a small cabinet and a shelf in a wardrobe. I couldn't believe how neat and tidy the kid's rooms were! Each bed was made identically down to the placement of their pillows near the center of the bed. After our small tour, the 3 kiddos arrived at the orphanage. They were taken out of school early and picked up by a car so they were really confused why they were there early instead of riding back on the school bus with the rest of the kids. When we were introduced, they seemed pretty reluctant and shy to find out that a couple had come to see them about adoption. We were the very first couple to come to see them. They were really cute, but again, extremely shy. We sat down and showed them our books that told about our family and they patiently listened. After we were done we asked them questions to get to know them better. We found out that they had all traveled to New York last summer as part of a hosting program. They showed us a book that their host family had made for them. Most of their answers were really brief. After that we gave them some gifts that we picked out for them yesterday, a hat for the boy and small jewelry boxes for the girls, and they put them away in their rooms and then they showed us around a little bit. We finished our visit and asked if we could come back again tomorrow. They seemed okay with it, but not super excited about it either. I'm not sure what to think about that. The Director showed us outside and told us that the kids are probably just being shy, etc. I guess we'll see tomorrow.
James and I left our apartment this morning around 5:30am to catch an express train to Kharkov. The train car we rode in was made up of maybe 10 rows of two to three seats on each side of the train with an aisle in between. James and I sat in a row with only two seats. The train ride was about 4 1/2 hours long. Our new facilitator, Tatyana, and her husband met us at the train station in Kharkov and took us to our apartment. They left us for about 30 minutes to settle in and then picked us up again and we headed out to the town where the orphanage is. The drive is about 50 kilometers away or just over 30 miles. During the drive to the orphanage our driver pointed out the window and said, "There is Russia"! We were driving about 2 miles from the border of Russia a lot of the way. We stopped at the District Social Worker's office and Tatyana gave them our Referral and a representative got in the car with us and we drove the rest of the way to the orphanage. The roads were a little rough and the orphanage was located pretty far out near a bunch of farms. The grounds of the orphanage were very beautiful. We got out and headed into the orphanage. When we entered we were asked to put shoe covers on to protect the pristine floors. Everything was very clean! We were lead upstairs where we met with the Director of the orphanage along with the Medical advisor and a couple of other people who worked at the orphanage. They all were very kind to us and let us ask all of the questions we could think of about the kids. They were very good at answering our questions completely and if they didn't know something they told us instead of guessing. It was a very positive experience. One of the many questions we asked was if the kids knew we were coming. We were told that they did not know that we were coming. After we were done asking questions the Orphanage staff asked us a lot of questions too. We were then shown a little bit of the orphanage. We were shown a lot of bedrooms. Each one had anywhere from five to seven beds in them. Each child had a small cabinet and a shelf in a wardrobe. I couldn't believe how neat and tidy the kid's rooms were! Each bed was made identically down to the placement of their pillows near the center of the bed. After our small tour, the 3 kiddos arrived at the orphanage. They were taken out of school early and picked up by a car so they were really confused why they were there early instead of riding back on the school bus with the rest of the kids. When we were introduced, they seemed pretty reluctant and shy to find out that a couple had come to see them about adoption. We were the very first couple to come to see them. They were really cute, but again, extremely shy. We sat down and showed them our books that told about our family and they patiently listened. After we were done we asked them questions to get to know them better. We found out that they had all traveled to New York last summer as part of a hosting program. They showed us a book that their host family had made for them. Most of their answers were really brief. After that we gave them some gifts that we picked out for them yesterday, a hat for the boy and small jewelry boxes for the girls, and they put them away in their rooms and then they showed us around a little bit. We finished our visit and asked if we could come back again tomorrow. They seemed okay with it, but not super excited about it either. I'm not sure what to think about that. The Director showed us outside and told us that the kids are probably just being shy, etc. I guess we'll see tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Kiev Ukraine Round Two Day Thirteen: Because we are in Ukraine!
Mary is writing the post today.
James and I met our facilitator at the SDA office today in hopes of picking up our referral to meet the children we selected yesterday. It should have been an easy process of showing our passports and signing a ledger and then the SDA hands us a one page document that gives us permission to meet the children. Easy-peasy right? Well, it didn't go exactly like that. Our facilitator was told that there was a problem and she told us to wait outside while she tried to figure out what was wrong. She came out a little while later and said that the Director did not sign our referral because he was on a business trip. She went back inside to try to figure out how to solve this problem. We had already bought train tickets to Kharkiv leaving early in the morning the next day. James and I just looked at each other and basically we both said "of course there is a problem." It didn't faze us at all. I processed how I felt and it was so funny, I felt perfectly calm. A little annoyed, but we were getting used to all of the drama that goes into adoption. As we were waiting, an Italian couple came to the SDA to get their referral too, and then an American woman showed up hoping to pick up her referral as well. Lesya, our facilitator, came back out and had us come inside to wait for a bit. The other facilitators of the other people came inside too. After about an hour another American woman came by to pick up her referral that was supposed to be ready yesterday, but she ran into the same problem and was told to come back today. So now we were up to 4 groups of people waiting for referrals. It is a small area where we were waiting so it was getting a bit crowded. While we were waiting we started talking to the last American woman who came to the SDA. She said she asked her facilitator why there was a problem, and why couldn't someone else sign it? She was told "because we are in Ukraine"! After two hours of waiting and negotiating, our facilitators were able to get someone to sign the referrals so we can travel tomorrow! We showed them our passports and signed the ledger and they handed us our referral!
"Because we are in Ukraine!" stuck with me. The adoption process has been a very interesting experience working between our country and Ukraine. Our cultures are different in many ways and what we think should be an easy process can be very complicated out here. It started me thinking on just how different it is here in Ukraine compared to the United States. Not all of the differences are bad, not all our good, but some are just different. I started compiling a list of experiences with James that are unique or different than what we have experienced in the United States. Here are a few that we came up with:
1. The Elevators are awesome here! You get in, you push a floor button, and then push the "close door" button and the doors close immediately! I mean seriously, they close immediately! No pushing the button a million times to try to get the doors to close so you can get moving! Awesome! (Gotta love the little things, right?)
2. Cars drive ridiculously close to you when you are a pedestrian. You could be walking through a narrow alley way and a car will squeeze by you instead of waiting for you to get through before they go. Crossing in a cross walk, a car will turn their car and drive right behind you instead waiting 5 seconds to make sure they are clear to go. You could be walking on the sidewalk and a car will come up behind you or in front of you trying to park. That's right! they can park on the sidewalk here! They just drive down the sidewalk until they find a place to park. Here is proof:
James and I met our facilitator at the SDA office today in hopes of picking up our referral to meet the children we selected yesterday. It should have been an easy process of showing our passports and signing a ledger and then the SDA hands us a one page document that gives us permission to meet the children. Easy-peasy right? Well, it didn't go exactly like that. Our facilitator was told that there was a problem and she told us to wait outside while she tried to figure out what was wrong. She came out a little while later and said that the Director did not sign our referral because he was on a business trip. She went back inside to try to figure out how to solve this problem. We had already bought train tickets to Kharkiv leaving early in the morning the next day. James and I just looked at each other and basically we both said "of course there is a problem." It didn't faze us at all. I processed how I felt and it was so funny, I felt perfectly calm. A little annoyed, but we were getting used to all of the drama that goes into adoption. As we were waiting, an Italian couple came to the SDA to get their referral too, and then an American woman showed up hoping to pick up her referral as well. Lesya, our facilitator, came back out and had us come inside to wait for a bit. The other facilitators of the other people came inside too. After about an hour another American woman came by to pick up her referral that was supposed to be ready yesterday, but she ran into the same problem and was told to come back today. So now we were up to 4 groups of people waiting for referrals. It is a small area where we were waiting so it was getting a bit crowded. While we were waiting we started talking to the last American woman who came to the SDA. She said she asked her facilitator why there was a problem, and why couldn't someone else sign it? She was told "because we are in Ukraine"! After two hours of waiting and negotiating, our facilitators were able to get someone to sign the referrals so we can travel tomorrow! We showed them our passports and signed the ledger and they handed us our referral!
"Because we are in Ukraine!" stuck with me. The adoption process has been a very interesting experience working between our country and Ukraine. Our cultures are different in many ways and what we think should be an easy process can be very complicated out here. It started me thinking on just how different it is here in Ukraine compared to the United States. Not all of the differences are bad, not all our good, but some are just different. I started compiling a list of experiences with James that are unique or different than what we have experienced in the United States. Here are a few that we came up with:
1. The Elevators are awesome here! You get in, you push a floor button, and then push the "close door" button and the doors close immediately! I mean seriously, they close immediately! No pushing the button a million times to try to get the doors to close so you can get moving! Awesome! (Gotta love the little things, right?)
2. Cars drive ridiculously close to you when you are a pedestrian. You could be walking through a narrow alley way and a car will squeeze by you instead of waiting for you to get through before they go. Crossing in a cross walk, a car will turn their car and drive right behind you instead waiting 5 seconds to make sure they are clear to go. You could be walking on the sidewalk and a car will come up behind you or in front of you trying to park. That's right! they can park on the sidewalk here! They just drive down the sidewalk until they find a place to park. Here is proof:
3. The restaurants we have eaten at in Ukraine have been amazing! They have all been about presentation and attention to detail. They don't set out silver ware that was pre-wrapped in a napkin, they wait until you order, and then based on what you order, they bring out specific silverware for your meal. They usually put a placemat on the table and then napkins and carefully put out your knife, fork and spoon, soup spoon, butter knife, dessert fork, etc for what you ordered. Almost every restaurant has had a tablecloth and draperies everywhere. When your food comes out it looks amazing because they put so much effort to make it look beautiful. Compared to the States the food here is very inexpensive. Here are a few examples:
Mashed Potatoes at Prego in Kiev
Veal Medallions at Richelieu in Kiev
Ribeye Steak and Rice at the Opera House Café in Kiev
4. Ukrainians believe that cats with 3 colors of fur or more will bring happiness. There was an older kitten outside the SDA building yesterday and today. Our driver told us that everyone loves these cats and that they are nice to them. We shared our cultures superstition that black cats crossing your path bring bad luck and he said that Ukrainians think the same thing. Here is the cute "Coashka" we saw at the SDA:
5. Laundry! The machines here are tiny! The average load takes almost 90 minutes to run. Then you hang the clothes to dry. Some of our apartments have had these really awesome drying apparatuses that you can drape your clothes on. Sometimes we have had to spread the clothes out all over the apartment on all of the furniture. I will take a tiny washing machine over washing the laundry in a hotel sink any day though! (I really miss my super capacity washer and dryer at home...I am so spoiled!)
6. Parks are gorgeous out here and used! Lots of flowers, fountains, walkways, and benches. Every time we have walked through the park there were a lot of people in it. Families, couples, old people playing chess, musicians, dancers, you name it. When it gets dark, it gets even busier! Such a pleasant atmosphere! In the states, most city parks close before it gets dark and you wouldn't want to go to them after dark anyways for safety reasons.
These are just a few of the differences I have seen here. There are many more! I will stop now because this post is getting long! "Because we are in Ukraine!" I have realized just how lucky (and spoiled) I am living in America. I have also learned to appreciate the many good things that we have experienced here in Ukraine too! We are excited to travel to Kharkiv tomorrow and meet those kids!
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Kiev Ukraine Round Two Day Twelve: Second SDA Appointment
James is again wielding the virtual pen for our blog update.
After a long week of learning patience, Mary and I had our second appointment at the SDA today! With some experience under our belts, this appointment went much better than the first appointment and I kept much better track of our time. After looking through several files we found two good possibilities and, after some discussion of the two options, made a selection. We requested an official referral to visit with some children in Kharkov, a city to the north and east of Kiev. There are three children in this sibling group. Two girls (ages 10 and 11) and one boy (age 12). We feel really good about this opportunity. We should receive the official paperwork tomorrow and travel to Kharkov on Thursday. To say that we are excited would be a little bit of an understatement. It feels great to get past waiting and move forward again on this journey. We are looking forward to meeting these kids!
On our walk home, we passed the main building of Shevchenko University. The building is painted red but they also light it up with red at night. All that red associated with a university is just wrong for a BYU fan but works out just fine for the Ute in the family.
After a long week of learning patience, Mary and I had our second appointment at the SDA today! With some experience under our belts, this appointment went much better than the first appointment and I kept much better track of our time. After looking through several files we found two good possibilities and, after some discussion of the two options, made a selection. We requested an official referral to visit with some children in Kharkov, a city to the north and east of Kiev. There are three children in this sibling group. Two girls (ages 10 and 11) and one boy (age 12). We feel really good about this opportunity. We should receive the official paperwork tomorrow and travel to Kharkov on Thursday. To say that we are excited would be a little bit of an understatement. It feels great to get past waiting and move forward again on this journey. We are looking forward to meeting these kids!
In front of the SDA office.
This evening, we decided to enjoy dinner at the restaurant "Richelieu". We pass this restaurant each Sunday when walking to church in Kiev and, with my fascination for European history, I talked Mary into eating there this evening. They served a mixture of French and American food. It was quite good. I couldn't resist getting a picture in front of the Richelieu portrait hanging in the restaurant.
On our walk home, we passed the main building of Shevchenko University. The building is painted red but they also light it up with red at night. All that red associated with a university is just wrong for a BYU fan but works out just fine for the Ute in the family.
We finished our day talking with our sons back in Virginia. Their support has been simply amazing and we are grateful for such great kids! I pray that we will be able to successfully complete this journey and see them soon!
Monday, September 8, 2014
Kiev Ukrain Round Two Day Eleven: Finally, Good News!
Mary is posting today.
This morning we received great news! Tomorrow we will have our Second SDA Appointment! We are thrilled to see more children's files and to finally move forward again! With hopefully leaving Kiev in the next few days, we decided to squeeze in a few more sights. We visited the Golden Gate, which is now a monument, but was originally built in 1037 as a ceremonial entrance into Kiev. In the 1980's it was renovated, but some of the original structure still stands today. We also visited St. Sophia's Cathedral as well. Both are beautiful places and worth the visit!
This morning we received great news! Tomorrow we will have our Second SDA Appointment! We are thrilled to see more children's files and to finally move forward again! With hopefully leaving Kiev in the next few days, we decided to squeeze in a few more sights. We visited the Golden Gate, which is now a monument, but was originally built in 1037 as a ceremonial entrance into Kiev. In the 1980's it was renovated, but some of the original structure still stands today. We also visited St. Sophia's Cathedral as well. Both are beautiful places and worth the visit!
The Golden Gate (on the top of the structure there is a church that is capped with a golden dome)
James in front of the Golden Gate
Mary in front of St. Sophia's Cathedral. Ukraine is famous for their painted eggs.
The Bell Tower at St. Sophia's Cathedral.
We are really looking forward to tomorrow!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Kiev Ukraine Round Two Day Ten: Gratitude
James is writing today's post.
Today marks one month since we departed Virginia on this journey. As I reflect on the past month, all of the highs and lows, there is one thing that stands out...the incredible support that we have received from family, friends (old and new), and coworkers. It has been simply amazing, the myriad of ways in which the people in our life have enabled this journey. Another example, perhaps small to the casual observer, but large in our hearts occurred today. A close friend sent Mary a message from the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United:
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"
A truly beautiful reminder of faith and the blessings of the Lord.
It is hard to express the depth of gratitude that we have felt for all of these manifestations of support: thoughtful messages, countless prayers, support from leaders and coworkers at the office during the absence, help with our sons at home, a brother answering a call for help without hesitation, friends stepping in to lend a hand, and many others too numerous to list. Truly we are blessed and pray that, in some small way, we will find ways to show our gratitude to everyone supporting us and complete this journey in a way that proves worthy of that support.
We are hopeful that the next two days will bring concrete progress towards receiving permission to visit new children. Praying that tomorrow brings some much anticipated good news.
Today marks one month since we departed Virginia on this journey. As I reflect on the past month, all of the highs and lows, there is one thing that stands out...the incredible support that we have received from family, friends (old and new), and coworkers. It has been simply amazing, the myriad of ways in which the people in our life have enabled this journey. Another example, perhaps small to the casual observer, but large in our hearts occurred today. A close friend sent Mary a message from the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United:
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"
A truly beautiful reminder of faith and the blessings of the Lord.
It is hard to express the depth of gratitude that we have felt for all of these manifestations of support: thoughtful messages, countless prayers, support from leaders and coworkers at the office during the absence, help with our sons at home, a brother answering a call for help without hesitation, friends stepping in to lend a hand, and many others too numerous to list. Truly we are blessed and pray that, in some small way, we will find ways to show our gratitude to everyone supporting us and complete this journey in a way that proves worthy of that support.
We are hopeful that the next two days will bring concrete progress towards receiving permission to visit new children. Praying that tomorrow brings some much anticipated good news.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Kiev Ukraine Round Two Day Nine
I can't believe we have been back in Kiev for nine days! We didn't really do much outside of the hotel today except go to dinner and the grocery store for tomorrow. We spent most of the day reading, writing, Skyping with family, and trying to follow up on a few adoption leads we received a few days ago. We are trying to be as prepared as possible for our second SDA appointment on Monday or Tuesday (we still do not have a firm appointment date). I am hoping the next SDA appointment will go better than our first. I feel we have learned a lot more since the first appointment. Hopefully we will be able to use our time more wisely with the experience we have gained. This quote says it all:
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